Experience Camps is part of our village...

Devon Coyle at first seems quiet. She is a very studious and kind hearted child. She plays softball, basketball, and volleyball, and is an amazing big sister to Gianna, who is only 17 months younger.

In 2017, When Devon was 11 and Giana was 9, their dad, David, died suddenly of an undetected heart condition while driving with Gianna and his wife, Lynne.

After that tragic and terrifying day, Devon and her family make sure that they keep his memory alive through pictures, discussions, and now by attending Experience Camps. Devon and her sister first came to camp after her mom read about it in Sheryl Sandberg's book, "Option B."

Devon came back from camp last summer raving about her experience and the friends that she made. She finally found a place where she felt normal and was not treated differently because of what she'd been through.

"Camp is a huge lifeline for my girls."

Devon is not afraid to be herself. She is a genuine good soul who would go out of her way to help others. She has a great deal of patience and respect for others. These traits shone brightly during her week at camp and allowed her to bond with the other girls in a truly special way.

Grief isn't always easy. "I wish people knew how painful it is for me and my girls," says Devon's mom, "I still have a hard time dealing with it. I wish people would talk about my husband instead of avoiding the subject of him." Luckily, what her girls take away from camp makes the day to day a little easier.

"Experience Camps is part of our village. It is a relief for me that my children can go to a place where they feel like they belong."

From CalEx Volunteer to Town Trustee...

Laura Skladzinski was a first time CalEx volunteer in 2018. She lives in Boulder, CO and is a management consultant for PWC. She was recently elected as town trustee for Superior, CO.

Every year for the holidays Laura's former colleague Justine Lelchuk (a current ExCamps Board Member) puts out a newsletter where she promotes Experience Camps. Each time, Laura read the words "Best Week Ever" and felt intrigued. This year, one of Laura's best friend's mother died, and Laura decided attending Experience Camps would be the perfect way to honor her friend and get a better grasp on how to support her through one of the hardest times in her life.  

Laura loved every minute of camp. She especially loved how everyone came together to make ExCamps a place of understanding for the kids. She was able to see a little bit of what her best friend had gone through, and that helped give her a better understanding on how she could be there for her when she got back home. Laura felt especially moved by the Bill of Rights grief activity. This activity showed her all the different things that grief is and can be - and how everyone can support that journey.

"From the very beginning I knew that ExCamps was a powerful place," Laura said. "It's such a diverse group of campers who all have had such different experiences - but share a connection that enables them to know exactly what each one might be feeling."

It was clear to Laura that these connections and memories spanned not only the week at camp, but also throughout the year.

"At the closing night bonfire, one of the campers said that last year her and her bunk mates exchanged phone numbers and started a group text. From the day they left camp they had a countdown for every day until the following year. It really made me realize what a special place had been created."

This year, Laura ran for Town Trustee in Superior, Colorado. Laura mentioned that she was constantly inspired by camp throughout her time on the campaign trail.

"The song THIS IS ME that I learned about at camp - that was something that I probably listened to 10 times a day when I was going through the campaign. I kept thinking about that and various lyrics. It really meant a lot to me. Campaigning is very stressful, but that song always makes me thinks of my strong campers and gives me hope."

Laura loved camp so much and can't wait for next year in our new camp in Michigan, MidwEx! "I'm so grateful that I get to help at the first year of this camp, and start creating new memories for so many kids!

Loss is the Common Denominator

Will Carradero is a dynamic kid. He's a perfect combination of an introvert and an extrovert. After his father died, his mom Eligia was looking for different ways for Will to find support. She knew that her son's grief journey would be a very long process, but one that she would always help him navigate.

Because of Will's natural ability to be a part of groups, she signed him up for Experience Camps. She knew that even though grief is a different experience for everyone, loss is the common denominator.

Eligia has noticed great changes in her son since returning from camp. "Will is more expressive with his feelings. He came back with a sense of relief and less anguish with the loss of his father. Also, he talks about camp all the time!"

Just like many of our campers, Will wishes that camp could be two weeks long instead of one week! Will felt safe in our community and was grateful to be able to connect with kids who had been through similar situations in their lives.

Will has fallen in love with Experience Camps and was particularly proud of himself that he didn't feel homesick or feel the need to be on his electronics. Go Will!

He is already counting down the days until next summer!

Grief and Gratitude

At Experience Camps, we often talk about the ying and yang of grief. It’s the idea that there can be two opposing forces, yet they can exist in balance. For instance, sometimes you can feel both joy and sadness, guilt and relief…or even GRATITUDE and GRIEF.

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that can bring a lot of emotions to the surface for grieving families. There can be inner conflict with the idea of giving thanks when you’re feeling robbed of the time you were meant to have with someone who has died. Many children and adults are left wondering, is it ok to feel grateful for what you have when you have lost so much? We say yes. Yes it is.

Each summer at the final campfire, as kids line up one after one to light a candle and share a bit of their story, the theme of gratitude is quick to emerge. Some campers will say, “I wish my dad hadn’t died…but if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten to come to camp and meet all of you”. In those moments, as so often happens, the kids become our greatest teachers, reminding us all of the balance that can be found when given the right space to share and reflect. Appreciation is shown for their new friendships, the activities they get to try, their counselors and mentors, and even the food. Even with all that has happened, they are grateful.

It is in this spirit that we give thanks to all of the people that make up the ExCamps family and the forces that brought us together. Sure, it’s a club that nobody wants to belong to, but we sure are grateful for each and every person that makes it what it is. Happy Thanksgiving.

Hunter Holds His Head High

Hunter has always struggled with self confidence - he has trouble standing up for himself and was pretty adamant about not going to camp when his mom suggested it. So imagine his mom, Jodi's, surprise when the first words out of his mouth when she picked him up from camp were "I'm definitely coming back next year!"

Jodi has always been a strong advocate for Hunter, especially after his dad died of Pancreatic Cancer when Hunter was just 10 months old. She tried to find resources for them both but realized that there wasn't much out th ere for kids who were grieving the loss of a loved one. Taking matters into her own hands, she hired a 12-year old boy who had also lost his dad to be Hunter's first babysitter. This was the start of a support network for him, but she knew that he needed more.  

She found Experience Camps through an online search and knew immediately that it was the place for Hunter. He often worries that his own sadness about his dad will upset his mom, but ExCamps gives him a place to really explore his feelings without having to worry about anyone else. At home, Jodi was also comforted knowing that Hunter was safe and supported by caring volunteers and peers at camp.

Hunter encountered a lot of stories of loss during his time at camp, which brought out some new emotions for him - emotions that hadn't been so close to the surface before. That openness and sharing allowed him to deal with his own feelings which otherwise may have stayed suppressed or boiled over with negative outcomes over time. For Hunter, his time at ExCamps began the important process of coping and healing that has continued even after camp.

When he got home this summer, Hunter walked with his head held high, something he hadn't done before.  "He left home a little boy and came back a young man." And while it's hard to compete with the other most magical place on earth, to Hunter and Jodi, camp is "better than a trip to Disney Land!"

Why I (really, really) wanted to work at ExCamps...

Growing up, my brother and I were your typical siblings. We communicated through punches, shoving, yelling, and eventually one of us getting in trouble (usually me, the ole’ “you’re older, you should know better,” routine). But, something was different when late June rolled around. We knew we were about to embark on our favorite 7.5 weeks of the year. The 7.5 weeks where we were on our own without our parents, thrust into a universe where our home life was a distant memory, except for one thing, we had each other.

Every night before the first day of camp we rolled out the cot from my closet, set the bed next to mine, and had our once a year “sleepover.” This was a tradition we had set since 1998 (my first year of camp - before Jordan even started attending camp himself). Jordan was always interested in camp. He started 3 years after I did (you had to be at least 8 to go, so his eager 5 year old self wasn’t getting in), but interrogated me constantly throughout the year about what happened in those fairytale spaces.

When the cot was set, we popped in the VHS of the camp video from the year before, and watched until we accidentally drifted off to sleep. We never made it through the full 3 hour video, to our dismay. We’d wake up in the morning new people, and we knew it. We had taken off the armor of the winter months, and shed our skin like butterflies, morphing into our camp selves.

Camp was the place where we escaped all that was home life, and became a more honest version of ourselves. For Jordan and I, it was almost like an alternate universe role play. It was the place where we stepped out of the persona of the fighting siblings, and stepped into our greatest performance, the role of sibling comrades, and the only ones who knew exactly how the last 10 months had been in our lives.

As the buses departed from the Macy’s parking lot, we waved to our parents (sometimes ran so quickly on the bus that we didn’t even say goodbye to them), and were ushered off into our happy place.

We had arrived. I rocked back in forth in my Crazy Creek chair at the first all-camp gathering excitingly waiting for some of the directors to take the stage. The energy in the room was palpable. I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Jordan, asking if he could sit in my lap. I knew I was home.

Years later in 2012, my brother died by suicide. It was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with, and for a while I was lost trying to figure out how I would make sure he was with me every day, though he wasn't physically with me anymore.

In 2017, I was talking to one of my best friends and she recommenced I look into Experience Camps, as she knew camp had always been an important piece of me, and especially as it relates to the way I remember my brother. I volunteered in 2018 at CalEx, and knew I had found my people, my place, and the perfect way to not only help keep Jordan's memory alive, but to also pay it forward.

Camp provides so much for so many children, and especially those who have experienced trauma, loss, or any other type of hardship. I’m so unbelievably grateful to be embarking on my newest adventure, as the National Program Manager of Experience Camps.

This job is going to let me morph into my camp self for good, and I plan to carry my sibling comrade with me every step of the way.

Volunteer Spotlight on Jason

Jason McDermott lives in Scotland and works as an educator, delivering wellness and anti-violence programs to at-risk students. He first volunteered at ExCamps in 2016 because he loves kids and loves camp. Tragically, his own mum died the following year, and the courage and bonds he witnessed in our campers and volunteers became a key source of support in his own journey. Read on for an inspiring story of loss, connection and passion.

"One of my fondest memories of camp is my first sharing circle. I remember feeling worried and anxious doing something I'd never done before, however being able to listen and be present for a group of 12 year-old boys as they shared their stories and what brought them to camp, turned out to be one of the most humbling and beautiful moments of my life. That moment would change the trajectory of my life. Seeing these young men showing kindness, empathy and understanding for their bunkmates was extraordinary. 

I lost my mum a year later, in 2017. I was able to cope with my loss by remembering the courage and strength those boys had demonstrated the year before. When I'm not at camp, talking about loss and grief can be difficult and challenging, but when I'm at camp I find it a little bit easier. Everyone gets it. Everyone has experienced their own loss. Experience Camps is a family, one that is supportive and kind.
Having the privilege of working at ManEx for the past 3 years has truly changed my life in more ways than one. Camp helped me find a passion for counseling and I am now studying to become a child therapist with a Masters in School Counseling. I wasn't even sure what a therapist was until I saw them in action at camp!

Experience Camps has helped me find my calling, my way of helping to make the world a better place. It's hard to find that kind of magic anywhere else."

ExCamps Takes on the NYC Marathon: Highlight on team member Ann Morin

As a charity partner for the TCS NYC Marathon, the journey of childhood grief is symbolized with each step of the 26.2 miles run on November 4th, 2018 and every mile that is run in preparation for that day. Whether a runner runs in memory of someone, in honor of someone, as a personal goal, or because they just love to run, the seven members of our ExCamps team are raising awareness for Experience Camps, showing their support, and creating even more opportunities for grieving children to have "the best week of the year".

Ann Morin of Berlin, New Hampshire is running with “Team ExCamps” for the 2018 TCS New York City Marathon -- for Experience Camps, a national non-profit organization that works with grieving children nationwide.

Ann knows the grieving process all too well. Ann’s husband was only 36 years old when he died in 2002. At the time, their children, Keith and Christina, were only 4 and 7 years old.

5 years later, seeking some sense of comfort and peer support for her children, Keith attended the Manitou Experience in Oakland, Maine. Manitou Experience was the first Experience Camp in the United States -- free one-week camps for boys and girls who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling or primary caregiver.

Ann cried happy tears of thankfulness each night as she saw photos and read updates from the day at camp. It was such an amazing experience for Keith as he has made lifelong friends, grown and learned that he is not alone in his grief. Today, Keith attends Manitou Experience as a counselor and gives back to an organization that has made such a tremendous impact on his own grief journey. 

“I am running for the kids to raise awareness of grief resources for children dealing with loss,” says Ann.” It is hard to deal with the death of a loved one at any age, but to be a child and experience the death of a parent is life changing. I am also running in memory of my late husband, as I know he would be thankful for the positive impact Experience Camps has made on my son’s life.”

Experience Camps is as an official charity partner of the 2018 TCS New York City Marathon.

Elijah Dives into Life at ExCamps...

Elijah's dad died of an illness when he was 5 years old - now he's 11, just started the 6th grade, and lives in John's Creek, GA. A school counselor told his mom about Experience Camps, and   he attended the program in Georgia for the first time this past summer. Despite feeling nervous about going for the first time, Elijah had an incredible week and can't wait to go back!

Here's what his mom, Leigh, tells us about Elijah:

Elijah is a bright and energetic young man.  He participates in Boy Scouts, basketball, youth church, and he does well in school. He misses the love of his father, but he is working everyday  on how to deal with the emptiness.  

I am proud of him for being open to going to camp. It was his first year and he really learned a lot. He enjoyed talking with others who identified with his loss. Both of my parents are still living   so at times I have no clue how he really feels, I only know it hurts. It really helped Elijah to be   with others who "get it" and not feel so alone on his fatherless journey.

I wish our family and friends could understand what it's like. Some people feel that since Elijah was only 5 when his Dad died, how could it still affect him? But grief is ongoing and it changes  over time. Most people don't really understand that unless they've been through it.

Experience Camps is part of our village now. He really felt the sincerity and love there. I am so happy I found this program and I look forward to when my son can come back as an ambassador for others when he is older.

Camper Spotlight on Jake

Jake's mom, Wendy, passed away suddenly on January 4th, 2014.  She was an extremely vibrant, energetic, and creative woman, and Jake was the light of her life.

Fortunately, my sister, Sara, was the founder of Experience Camps so I knew what ManEx was all about. I knew that the best place for Jake to deal with and understand his grief would be there.

Jake is an intelligent, energetic, athletic young man whose sense of humor keeps things light every day. He's a straight-A student who never gives me an ounce of trouble except for the routine 14 year old boy antics!  His middle school baseball team recently won their first championship, and Jake was given an award for being player of the year. He loves to hang out with his buddies watching the Yankees or playing video games.

Jake loves going to ManEx and looks forward to it each year. He has made several good friends who he keeps in contact with throughout the year. He loves the food, the activities, the down time and just being around kids who have experienced similar things that he has. 

It has not been an easy ride trying to juggle the role of both mom and dad, but Jake has sure made it much easier than it could have been. He had every excuse in the world to become a troubled kid due to the tragedy that he suffered, but he has truly been the opposite of that. It is a pleasure to raise him and watch him grow into the young man he has become. I consider myself extremely lucky to be his dad.

-Marc Stollar, ManEx dad

Ryan's Speech at the Miami Fundraiser

At our Miami fundraiser on May 5th, we welcomed BluEx camper, Ryan, to the stage to share his story and his feelings on camp with the 350 guests who came out to support him and his fellow campers. Here's what Ryan shared with us...

Hello. My name is Ryan. I am thirteen years old and I’m from Lake Worth, Florida. I’m in 8th grade at Woodlands Middle School.

When I was growing up, I knew my dad was bipolar and had problems with depression. One night, he told me and my brother he was leaving.  I had made a picture for him at school that day. He told me he didn’t need to take the picture to remember me. He hugged us goodbye, left the house and never came back.

Some people told us he had been in a car accident. I found out later he had committed suicide. When I found out what he did, I was very sad and angry. I felt completely alone. I didn’t think anyone could understand what I was feeling. It was hard for me to pay attention at school. I yelled a lot at my family when they tried to help me. I would slam the door to my room. I felt that my heart had a really bad pain that would not go away. I just wanted to be left alone.

Then my mom found out about Experience Camps. At first, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go. I had never been away for a week before and I didn’t know how it was going to be. But when I got to the airport, all the counselors were really nice. Half the plane was filled with kids who were like me.  We took a big bus to the camp and when we arrived there, it was amazing. People were cheering and waving at the bus. When we got off the bus, everyone was high fiving and super friendly. I stopped feeling nervous and was really glad I was there.

The first day was so much fun. We got assigned to cabins and I met three of the nicest counselors ever. We had a lot of activities that helped us all get to know each other and I started to talk more with the other campers. I expected the camp to be sad but it was so much fun. The whole place was amazing. It was like an awesome dream. The cabins were by a big lake. There was a diving board, jet skis, tubing, and a swimming pool. There was a skatepark, basketball court, archery, tennis court, kickball field, and lacrosse. There was even a zipline in the trees. One day we climbed a mountain and saw a waterfall. It was the coolest place I had ever been to.

We made teams for College League and called ourselves Clemson and Pitt. On our teams and in our bunks, we learned to rely on each other and trust each other. All the kids really bonded. We felt comfortable talking about the person we loved who had died. No one judged or looked at me differently. No one made me feel embarrassed to say how I felt. We had campfires and talked and had fun.

I realized all the kids who were there had lost someone they loved. I realized everything I felt was normal. I made a lot of really good friends at camp. That week at camp changed me. I stopped feeling so hurt and alone, and by the end of the week, the pain in my heart did not seem as bad. I am really grateful to everyone at Experience Camps and to everyone who helps them make these camps. I can’t wait to go back this summer!


I’m Kelia, my Dad died of brain cancer when I was twenty, and his name was Stephen.  That’s the story I shared with a bunk full of 11 year old boys, and that’s the story I shared with a bunk of 14 year old boys.  And at the end of the week, some of those boys asked me if I was coming back next year, and if they’d get to hang out with me again.

I’m Kelia, my Dad died in the living room as I watched him take his final breath, and some days I still don't believe it's true.  It taught me that life is short and I should take advantage of each and every day, and I’m honoring his life by authentically and unapologetically sharing my story and encouraging others to share theirs.  That’s the story I shared with a circle of adults, in the midst of forty others telling theirs, and there wasn’t a dry eye in sight.

It's been six years since Dad died.  I've graduated college and moved out of the house and gotten promotions at work and have gone back to school and have moved some more, and it always stings that Dad can't be there to help and to celebrate.  I woke up one morning at camp, after a day of basketball and swimming and chanting and cheering, still caught in that breath of a moment thinking I'll be able to tell Dad all about how awesome camp was and how much he would've loved it.  And then I remember that I can't.

But then I remember that I don't have to tell him.  Because he already knows.  Because I carry him with me wherever I go.  And so the first people I told about camp when I got home were my brother and my sister, and I told them both I want to bring them with me next year.

These campers have faced some of the hardest times life has to offer, and yet the strength and resiliency they show simply in boarding the bus to camp reminds me that the future remains bright indeed.

We all have moments, and days, and experiences that impact our lives in an irreversible way.  Dad is dead, and that is forever true.  Grief is forever.  But so are the bonds and memories I forged with nearly two hundred people over the past week of my life, and I am wildly grateful and appreciative to have those people and that time forever be a part of my life and my story moving forward.  And for the first time in a while, I’m wholeheartedly convinced that I’m telling the story I want to be living.

Til next time,

Kelia Bergin, year one, clinical team

A Letter to the Teacher of a Grieving Child

The following letter was created with the help of campers and caregivers at Experience Camps to better explain how they want to be supported in their school-year environments. 

Dear Caring Adult,
This year, you will be working with or caring for a grieving child. Children tell us that there are often well-meaning adults in their lives who don’t really understand what they’re going through, so this letter is intended to give you a small window into what they experience. Here are a few things to know about grieving children:

  • Most kids just want to feel normal. Children who have had a parent, sibling or primary caregiver die can feel very different from their peers, and that can be isolating.  
  • School or community events that require parent involvement can be really hard when a parent has died.
  • Even if a death happened a long time ago, the child is still grieving. Grief does not follow a straight path and there is no end. It can flare up at different times of year or may be triggered by a memory.  School assignments related to family or a child’s past can become triggers.  
  • Grief can make it hard to concentrate. Allowing the child to take breaks, listen to music, or write in a journal may help. You can even ask the child “what helps when you’re feeling sad or thinking about your mom/dad/sibling/etc?”.
  • Transitional periods and stress can also trigger grief.  A child who is making a big decision may long for the parent who is not there to advise them. A difficult social situation might make them miss a parent or sibling who could comfort them or help them solve problems.

What can you do to support a grieving child?

  • Listen without judgement. Grieving children need a trusted adult to talk to and confide in.
  • Set clear limits. Grieving children are still children. They find safety in structure and clearly defined expectations.
  • Find out what helps. All children grieve differently. Speak with the parent or caregiver or ask the child to find out what they want you to know and what helps them get through difficult times.
  • Facilitate Connections. Grief can make children feel alone, so try to find ways to highlight shared experiences and similarities with other kids to help them feel connected to their peers.

To learn more about supporting grieving children, there are excellent resources at www.dougy.org/grief-resources/. Thank you for your care and support of all children, and for recognizing the individual needs of grieving children.

Best Regards,
____________________________________(parent name),
parent/caregiver of __________________________________(child’s name)*

**This letter was written with the input and advice of our campers and caregivers at Experience Camps.

A Nomination We Can All Agree On...

Dear ExCamps Friends and Supporters,

I am beyond thrilled to share with you that today, Cara Allen will begin in her new role as Clinical Director of Experience Camps. The addition of this full-time position to our team signifies the commitment to growth by our Board of Directors and allows us to broaden and deepen the emotional support of the campers and caregivers we serve.

Cara has served as Director of Camper Services for our California boys' program since 2014 and knows first-hand how impactful the combination of camp and bereavement support is for our campers. Cara holds both an MSW and a Masters of Management degree and has worked extensively in bereavement for the past 14 years, where she was awarded numerous awards in the field of social work. 

I am thankful for all of you who played a role in allowing us to reach this exciting milestone. Please join me in welcoming Cara to her new position. 



Get to know our new Clinical Director...

Q: What made you go into social work as a profession?

A: I have always wanted to make the world better. At least in my little corner. Social work seemed like a great way to do that.  I come from a long line of "helpers".  I was a peer counselor in high school and loved sitting in the closet "office" waiting for people to come and talk with me. I experienced a lot of death during those years, and started becoming interested in how different people cope and how society handles grief. During college I volunteered with Planned Parenthood's rape crisis center and had a powerful night with a man who had been raped and was HIV positive.  Holding his hand that night I decided I would be a social worker. 

Q: Who or what inspires you?

A: History and human resiliency. Nature. My parents. Mr. Rodgers.

Q: What has been your most memorable moment at camp?

A: One boy in tears and another putting his arm around him and saying, "It's OK to cry, man.  We're all here for you."  Beautiful. 

Q: What do you hope to be remembered for some day?

A: Leaving the world a little better. 


What Helps?

Grief can be very isolating. Most grievers will tell you that nobody understands how they're feeling, and even well-meaning friends can offer misguided and hurtful reactions. Most people just don't get it. By sharing these stories from 5 of our campers' caregivers, we hope to help others understand what helps and what, most definitely, does NOT.

Writing, praying and music help me to overcome the deep sadness I still struggle with. It helps to know that grief is a journey that has no end. The pain doesn't go away, but you do learn how to cope with it and how to live with it. Give yourself permission to be sad. You are the only one who knows how you feel and what is best for you. Those that helped me were the ones that didn't say anything at all. They just held me and cried with me. It helps when others talk about him and share a memory or have acknowledged either his birthday or the anniversary of his death. Statements that never help: "I know how you feel." "Time will heal." "Aren't you over it yet?" - Samantha Sage

When others asked me how they could help, I would give specifics. I needed help with my yard and learning how to take care of my home.  Friends and family stepped up to help and teach me the things that I need to know.  I talk about him.  I have not attended any grief support groups, but other widows have reached out to me to talk.  I read many articles and books on grief.  And I attended counseling (still am, but less often)...I go to his grave and have coffee with him - that is still something that I miss the most - having our early morning coffee together. - Emily Arredondo

I went back to school a few years after my husband passed.  I am now a psychiatric nurse, working with suicidal, drug addicted, and mentally unstable patients.  I feel like I have made a huge difference in the lives of my patients just by treating them with dignity and respect.  I couldn't save my husband, but if I can prevent 1 family from going through what we have gone through, it would mean the world to me. One instance of something NOT helpful was when my boss told me that she knew what I was going through because her husband had to be away for work for two weeks, which turned into four weeks. I couldn't even verbalize to her how hurtful that was.  Much later, I did have the opportunity to tell my boss that her situation was very different because she could have phone conversations with her husband and she knew he'd eventually come home.  I still think she doesn't realize how awful that was. - Christine Guerrier

To cope with my own pain and guilt I try to spread awareness to anyone that will listen. I talk about [my friend who died] and explain to people how vibrant and intelligent she was. How she took all the right steps to protect herself and even though her outcome was death, theirs does not have to be. I attend events sponsored by her foundation and post a link to her site with advice on social media for anyone that may be dealing with domestic violence. I speak with close friends and her mother to share memories about Tiana. I have shared her story with my children as it is important to me that they never experience domestic violence. - Andrea Voedisch

The first thing I did was go to counseling, and got the kids in as well. That really did help. Other things I do are still celebrate his birthday in a small way, make one of his favorite desserts, and I try to go out to eat for what would be our anniversary. I have also been back to where the accident happened a few times, not to make some sort of makeshift shrine but just to sit quietly and "talk" with him the last place we spent happy time together. What has not helped: Strangers or distant acquaintances who want details,  or being in a grocery store and having people talk about you or the accident like you are not even there.  The biggest though is friends who are there the few days after it happens and promise support and time but are nowhere to be found when you need help. Friends that offer time with my kids but never follow through.  - Ann Morin